Sunday, March 1, 2009

I kissed a beautiful woman tonight

Luckily, I have no readers, which means I need not apologize for having not posted in months. Really, like any other blog worth it's slag (which truly ain't worth shit), I write for myself and if someone else likes what I write then I send them a flag lapel pin or at least an HJ (out of solidarity).

Because I've whistled the warmth of a bit too much whiskey, naturally, I feel inclined (also naturally) to wax philosophic for the masses

ONE:

Go fuck yourself. You're doing both you and your handmaid a favor.


TWO:

Never underestimate the potency of Kentucky Bourbon


THREE:

Women are (or can be) primal, excessively-conscious, scared & magnificent creatures that sometimes make it awkward to enjoy a cup of joe over teevee while they're "hanging out" with your roommate at 4 in the morning.


OOH UH, UH HUH, O YEAH - FOUR:

If you meet people of worth at bars, you're probably worthless


OUCH - FIVE:

Cocks and their respective blocks come in many shapes and sizes.


SIX:

Kissing a beautiful woman is it.


SEVEN:

Loving a beautiful woman is it x 22.


EIGHT:

Your typical romantic might feel that 'times 22' pales in comparison to terms like 'a million' or "infinity' but that romantic hasn't thought it through. Imagine earning twice what you earn now. Okay, now do that eleven times. 'Times 22' is a fuck load.


NINE:

Lies can be powerful motivators.


TEN:

You are what you wear. Seriously. Wear different shit and you'll see.